In case you live in a cave and didn't already know it, Dark Knight Rises is in theatres.
Being the entertainment whore that I am, I HAD to go see it. And because I'm just that much of a snob, I couldn't go see it in the regular theatre, I had to go see it in the IMAX.
Up until about a year ago when they randomly started putting super shitty movies in IMAX instead of blockbuster type films, I had been to every IMAX movie. So let's just say I have a routine. I have "my seat" that is the perfect seat in the whole theatre and I must sit there. Every time. Or else the movie is ruined for me.
So when I am going to see an IMAX movie, I get there 90 minutes before showtime. A little psychotic? Maybe. But let me assure you, even arriving 90 minutes early, I have only been the first person in line once. So clearly I am not alone in my psychosis.
I started checking online for tickets to Dark Knight Rises ages ago and they sold out very quickly, leaving me in the lurch. The other night, I decided to check again just for shits and giggles and wouldn't you know it, they had tickets available for the late show on Thursday night (9:45pm start time). I bought them right up and convinced my friend Kristen to go.
Thursday night comes and I am there at the theatre at 8:15, about 15 people or so back from the front of the line (see, I told you I'm not the only psycho).
We get into the theatre right before show time and I score "my seat" and I look around happily and smugly at all the first timers and lazy asses who didn't get to the theatre timely enough to ensure themselves a good seat.
The movie finally starts and that first scene is KILLER. I am totally into this. About 50 minutes in (mind you, this is a 3 hour movie) the fire alarm goes off.
WHAT. THE. FUCK.
S0 500 people have to make their way out ONE door. And I am PISSED. Because I know, without the shadow of a doubt, that I am either leaving the theatre without having seen the whole movie, or I am going to have to cut a bitch to ensure I get "my seat" back that I already waited 90 minutes for.
Standing outside for a good twenty minutes and I am gearing up for the ensuing fight that is sure to happen when I get back in the theatre and some asshole is sitting in my seat. I express my feeling to Kristen that I am ready to cut a bitch, who laughs in response. I tell her I'm not kidding and the laughter dies on her lips as she realizes just how serious I am about "my seat."
Finally they let us back in and we get back to our row. My seat was still empty, but Kristen's had been taken. Luckily there was an empty seat on the other side of me so we just shifted over one. Even though we managed to stay in the same place, many others did not, and you could hear snippets of discord throughout the theatre. Let's just say the environment was thick with animosity.
The alarm is still going off though they let us back in. 20 minutes later (now about 11:15 for those of you paying attention to the timeline) an usher makes the announcement that the fire department is currently trying to locate the switch for the alarm lights and we should be rolling again in ten minutes. It's at this point that they at least realize that people are angry and offer everyone a free movie pass. This of course sends the crowd into roaring cheers and applause. The masses are appeased.
But not for long.
Twenty more minutes go by and the alarm is still going and the movie is not rolling. Now Kristen is starting to complain about getting up for work tomorrow and how tired we are going to be, etc. Basically the same sentiment everyone else in the theatre is expressing.
The same usher comes back out to announce that there is some sort of mechanical issue and that they have called a technician in from Lowell...which may as well be the moon because it is almost midnight and there is no way this movie is getting going again until at least 1:30 or 2am. People in the crowd start yelling. The poor usher, sensing that a riot was about to start, offers every patron TWO free movie passes. The majority of the crowd (including myself and Kristen) take her up on the offer, take our movie passes and go.
But I will tell you this. I'm not happy about it.
Sure, I got two free passes for the price of one...but the problem with free movie passes is that you cannot purchase your tickets online, you have to go to the actual theatre to purchase your tickets. And this is not a regular theatre. This is one of only two IMAX theatres in the Boston area. So every single show sells out, especially for a huge release like the Dark Knight Rises. So basically my free movie tickets are useless.
You may ask, why don't you just go see the Dark Knight Rises at a regular movie theatre? To which I respond, because I am a pretentious asshole and would not be caught dead at a regular theatre for a movie that is being shown at the IMAX, that's why. Because if I went to the regular theatre to see it, I would sit there pissed the whole time that I was not at the IMAX.
#Firstworldproblems to be sure.