I take the bus to work every day. Most days, I get on and get off without incident. I obey the social protocols of riding public transportation. However, there are a lot of people who don't.
For those of you who are clueless in this arena, the following are the basic principles of public transportation etiquette:
- Move in. Do not sit on the outer seat with no one sitting in the inner seat in an effort to discourage people from sitting next to you. They then sit next to me and that makes me really unhappy. Plus inevitably, since the bus is always busy, someone is going to ask you to move in and you will end up having someone next to you anyway, so just suck it up and move your ass in.
- Men - give up your seat. If you see an old lady, a person with multiple bags, woman with a stroller, etc...stand up and offer your seat. Where is your sense of chivalry and manly duty? Not giving up your seat in my opinion makes you a huge pussy and you should be ashamed.
- Don't bring your dinner on the train. I do not want to smell your disgusting food. Unfortunately, my bus goes through Chinatown on the way out of the city, and inevitably someone brings their stinky chinese food on the bus for the rest of us to endure in rush hour traffic. It may make some people uncomfortably hungry, it may make others sick, but in some way or another, the smell of your dinner bothers EVERYONE.
- Do not talk on the phone. This is by far my biggest pet peeve. Sure, if you have to phone the hubz real quick to let him know you're running late, fine, but if you are having a full on conversation with your mom about the state of the bunyons on her feet, by all that is holy, hang up the goddamn phone. I do not want to be ear fucked by your conversation.
- If you have a large item, place it in one of the racks or sit on an end so you don't take up two seats. This goes hand in hand with moving in. Sometimes (especially if you're a woman) you need to bring multiple bags on the bus, and obviously those itty bitty seats are not conducive to having more than one bag that will fit on your lap. Instead of taking up two seats for your ass and all your shit, sit on an end where you can keep your bags out of the way and not take up two seats.
- Wear deodorant. This rule especially applies in the summer. You are going to be packed in like sardines and such close proximity requires that you do not reek like a football player's jock strap. Conversely, do not wear so much cologne or perfume that you are choking those around you either.
What is your biggest public transportation pet peeve?