Talking about your period on the internet seems to be the thing to do, so I thought I would join in on the fun!
For the boys that read (and I know now that I have at least a couple!) I apologize in advance for this girly topic.
I know all you girls are with me on this...back in elementary school (5th or 6th grade most likely) we all had that health class where you learned about the birds and the bees and a reaffirmation that babies do not in fact come from a stork or immaculate conception like jesus (I did have more than a few friends who really thought immaculate conception was possible at this age).
The whole class was awkward, there was a lot of giggling, and not much actual useful information was disseminated.
Anyway, health class (at least mine anyway) did not really go into the particulars of what a period would actually be like, just that we could expect some stomach cramps and some blood.
Totally did not seem that bad to me.
Flash forward to the sixth grade, about a year later. It happened. I finally became a woman.
Although, at the time, "becoming a woman" was not what I thought was happening.
You see, I thought that when I finally got my period, it would be exactly the size of...well...a period. Like at the end of a sentence. Just a drop.
All you ladies know of course, that it was definitely NOT the size of a period. More like the hoover dam had broken.
My childhood friend Megan was with me at the time in the bathroom, and lucky for my uninformed mind, she was under the same impression I was, that this was not normal. Something was wrong. I was possibly dying.
So then she had the genius idea that maybe I was internally bleeding or had ruptured my spleen playing on the jungle gym or something. I totally bought this. I was completely convinced that I was internally bleeding. Thinking that this was totally the case and I needed to go the hospital RIGHT AWAY, I ran back into my classroom yelling to my teacher that I was internally bleeding. Yes yelling. With a room full of students.
She was obviously concerned (at first) until I started explaining the particulars of the situation.
I was then taken to the nurse's office and my mother was called.
My mother laughed like it was the funniest thing in the world and then proceeded to tell me the truth about my period. Thanks for the loving support, Mom!
Let's just say that I did not live that humiliation down for the rest of the year. After all, not only did I run into the classroom yelling that I was internally bleeding with my blood soaked pants, but clearly Megan and I were the only ones who did not know that your period really wasn't a "period."
Hahahaha this is hilarious.
ReplyDeleteI think the worst part about your first period is how it comes at like...the most socially awkward time known to man. I've got some sixth grade horror stories too.
ReplyDeleteFor me I had cramps for like three days and on the last day I went to track practice and said my stomach was bugging me too much to run. My coaches told me if I was that sick I should have gone home and mostly got irritated with me sitting there moping. When I got home I went to the bathroom and realized what it was and thought "is it going to hurt this badly every month?" I told my mother and she just said "Well, it sucks, doesn't it? Don't ask me to explain tampons to you." Ha.
Haha, I love first period stories. That memory is forever ingrained in our minds, isn't it? I got mine on Christmas Eve while watching It's a Wonderful Life with my parents. All I remember is stomping back to the couch after the discovery with a heating pad, pouting and saying, "it's NOT a wonderful life."
ReplyDeleteI didn't get mine until I was 14 or 15. I don't really remember when it "started" so much as how I thought I was going to be dehydrated if it kept going the way it was. Clearly being 2 or 3 years behind the average girl made my body want to really catch up. I think it lasted 8 solid days. Horrible!
ReplyDeleteOh my shit. Internally bleeding. Thank God I'm alone at work cause I just howled.
ReplyDeleteI got my first period while I was sleeping. Yeah...I woke up and it looked like my vagina had been stabbed in my sleep. I stayed in bed until my parents left for food shopping. When I got up, I destroyed all evidence of perioding all over my favorite nightshirt (florida gators - random). I tossed everything in a paper bag and shoved it in the trash outside. I didn't even tell my mother for like, a year. I had to sneak giant mattress-sized pads from her. Luckily, I didn't get it that often and it lasted only 3 days.
Ironically, my sister got her period the year before me and never told our mother either. Except she used WADDED UP TOILET PAPER as a makeshift pad. Tells you a lot about our relationship with our mom, no?
Oh wow, that is tragically awesome. Everyone knew I got mine too, and I was one of the first girls to get it, which is bullshit because I still have small tits. You're supposed to get big tits if you have your period early.
ReplyDeleteAnyways, it was during aerobics class and I guess some lez was looking at my underwear through my gym shorts (we were laying down doing leg lifts or something) because she noticed the blood and outed me. There wasn't a lot of it, but I remember being grossed out because it wasn't red like normal blood. And then I had to start wearing pads, which was just a disgusting debacle.
I was one of the first girls to get mine, and for some reason the girls at the Catholic school I transferred to in 6th grade were all a bunch of haters, and made it super embarrassing. I think I lied and said I didn't have it for a year. Also I was swimming when it first happened. Talk about a day ruiner.
ReplyDeleteI got mine at home and knew what it was (thank god). I just walked into my mothers room, grabbed some pads out of her nightstand and said, "I need these. I'm a woman now." and walked out.
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