Truthfully I have no problem with turning 30. Many of my friends have treated turning 30 as the kiss of death, but I don't feel that way. To me, age is just a number (as evidenced by my affinity for older men).
However, what I do have a problem with are visible signs of aging. Pretty soon, I am going to resemble this chick...
I recently started noticing hyperpigmentation under my eyes that I immediately treated with an onslaught of various corrective creams. Thankfully I have actually seen some results (Clinique Dark Spot Corrector really does work).
Yesterday morning, I noticed something horrifying.
STRETCH MARKS ON MY INNER THIGHS.
I about died in the bathroom upon seeing those hideous purple marks. This is exactly what I need...a visual reminder to whoever ventures down into that area that I am no sixteen year old virgin. My vagina cries in sympathy.
My first act was to slather the areas with moisturizer to hinder any further marks and ran right out to get another shopping cart full of magic creams to fix this particular issue.
Why must my skin betray me? Thank god I have yet to spy any wrinkles.
It sucks getting old.
I have so many creams in my bathroom my skin should freaking sparkle like a Cullen when I walk in the sunlight.
ReplyDeleteI've had stretch marks on my inner thighs since my early teens. Extremely depressing considering I've never been overweight by more than a few pounds (and definitely never was as a kid). No clue where they came from unless it was from a growth spurt or from riding horses every day for several years during my growing years, but it sucks. Only in my late 20s have they faded from the bright red/purple they used to be. Even having had them for more than a decade, I'm still extremely self-conscious about them and get more anxious than excited when a guy finds himself down there.
ReplyDeleteUgh.
Pure emu oil does help for newer stretch marks, if you can find some. I used to use that when I was 15-16ish. Mine are too old now to do anything non-surgical for, but there's a lot of good stretch mark creams out there that might be able to help keep yours at bay.
Yay for shitty skin elasticity...
There is that mederma (sp?) stuff out there that worked for my sister? I have them on my hips and outer thighs. The bastards just won't go away.
ReplyDelete